new every morning

here is a song tommy and i composed and have decided to call “song for remembrance.”

for anyone who has lost someone — i hope this song finds you well.

a while back, a friend of ours, megan, asked us to write a song for a group at our high school back home called good grief. it’s a support group for students who have lost a parent. megan’s lovely mother passed away in 2007 after fighting small cell lung cancer. in her final memoir essay,

“‘what a mom,’ i thought to myself. ‘that’s my mom.’ she had no idea of the accidental joy that she brought into our lives”

megan writes.

i sat on this project for a while. i was unable to write any words or find any melody for something this important.

in the end, it took collaboration, musically and lyrically. the words were written by megan, and edited by me later to fit the music. the repeated line comes from another friend, kaila, who writes.

“the only thing i never want
to feel
is my chest
splittling apart
after goodbye”

this is slightly altered for the song.

the music was written by tommy and me in a basement room of my dorm. tommy plays mandolin and acoustic guitar here. i accompany him on ukulele, bouzouki (octave mandolin?) and melodica. singing is done by me, as well as some of the post-production. mark did further work with post-production on the final version.

i’ll post the lyrics here:

i don’t know much, but this time yesterday
i was just fine; you’re not here and i’m not sure how to say
it’s hard to put it down, how it feels
to have a brokenness revealed
you were a rock in my life, constant and steady
and you were taken away before either of us were ready

crushed by your health
i never expected to pick up the fragments of myself
but if there’s one thing you taught me, you’ve got to fight
to wake up each morning and go to bed every night
but i will make it through this with god or without one
‘cause i am still your own, your daughter; i am still your son

the only thing i didn’t want
was for my chest to split apart after a goodbye

the car crash, the cancer, the self-loathing thoughts
the aneurism, the drugs, the anonymous gunshots
it took you without question but you still put up a light
and fought in a vacuum of darkness; what a magnificent sight
you never denied your fate; you just weren’t done living
but the strength you gave me was the best gift worth giving

a collection of misfits, the broken-hearted crew
you see, they can relate; they know the hurt of losing you
but slowly, we heal with scars that no one can see, no one can see
and turn into the people you taught us to be
i am still your daughter, i am still your son
still your daughter, still your son

the only thing i didn’t want
was for my chest to split apart after a goodbye

timely and rather sad that i finally finished this song on the morning of mother’s day after four or five months of wondering how to get it started. hopefully there is some reasoning in that. that being said, this song is meant to be a celebration as well as a tool of remembrance!

my prayers are going out to those who have lost someone.

if anyone would like to download the song, you can here (pasword is “megan”).
http://www.mediafire.com/?m6pq77qwwh9ooqu