new every morning

a ukulele version of one of my songs, “about a man.”
it’s on deadwood’s ep called provence which we released last september.

i got a new toy… blue spark! my first time testing it out, so i just tried an old song in a pretty old & simple way.

the recorded history of this song is pretty interesting, ranging back two & a half years.
click here for old versions, noting the addition of the last lyric.

very personal song, but the theme can at least be alluded to up by this passage from romans:

“i consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. for the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of god to be revealed. for the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of god.”

~romans 8:18-21

http://deadwoodfloats.bandcamp.com/

tumblr friends. hi. many of you i’m happy to now know personally and well these days. many of you are a blessing to me, and have transcended the “strange online friend” to “realife friend” border and walked that line, walked it quite fantastically. since starting this blog nearly one year ago, a small community has built for me and us, or so i’d like to think, yes. although it occurs to me that in many ways, i’m still perhaps vague and oblique to many of you; i don’t say much - at least not on my page itself really - not about me, not so much, no.

so, here, now let me tell you things. today i am going to tell you things.

many times i mostly do covers (covers project), as you know. some scatteredbrained original things. allsoveryscattered. this post, this post will tell you about the project that i’m currently working on, called deadwood floats.

and then it will tell you about a song from the record.

the project called deadwood floats, which adam and i started, has had my heart over the last two years. gotten me through my first two years at school and beyond. been a major outlet for me, the absolute first generator of personal happiness and satisfaction and brotherhood (and sisterhood, yes, of course). with both life-long friends, meaning preschool and early grade school, and college-age friends. these humans are important to me. the most, and our sibling-like bickering but also shared tears will attest. what i’m saying really is that god exists in these people, and i see it, and what i want to do is share something that we’ve created together, and i want you to see us in it.

now, my little aforementioned group is releasing our debut record, a five-track ep, on september 1st, which is tomorrow.

photograph taken by lovely emma.

again, i want you to see us in it. i want you to see us in it. i want you to pick up our music here, i want you to feel with us, be back in nashville with us in december. in the van. and hear us playing and practicing the songs in the van, on the way there, writing together and being together. eating breakfast that morning at a place called provence. and trying to come up with it. mark’s basement. this ep has evolved into something very meaningful to us.

and for those of you still reading, which is definitely roughly thirty-nine of you, bless you, and also. i ask that if you like what you hear, please reblog. this post? perhaps. you’ll want to shorten it later. but what i mean is show us to your friends. help our sillydreams. that was intentionally one word.

our record is streaming here: http://deadwoodfloats.bandcamp.com/
and tomorrow, it will be to download for name-your-price. free, yes, free.

end preface. right.

…. …. ….

song name is “about a man.” this is the first track on the record. tomorrow i will be posting another.

here is old version, “about a man, about”:
http://neweverymorningmusic.tumblr.com/post/1012535459

it would be my usual stamp to give a small summary of what the song means to me. and, ha, what a heavy song then, for an already cumbersome block of text. hm.

there was a girl close to my heart. there was her family, which was close to my heart, even when that heart could be a fairly dark place, and i was a young person. i couldn’t handle things well.

about (about) a man who got away from here
about a man who left her dancing in the rain
about a man who changed us all in a year

so selfish;

eight eighteen

what i’ll say is that the words are incredibly deliberate. repeated words serve a vastly huge purpose. intentional, the second “about” is as heavy as things get. the first “about” indicates that this is a story, a hidden story, dealing with a man, ah, but the second “about” will twist that. not quite a man. right. this man changed. sure time. trying to write like i speak. breathe. i’m not insensitive about this. it’s difficult for me to directly tell you things, andandand i want to scream.

it’s about the rejection of self, the rejection of family, followed by the rebirth of self, the rejection of family, endless selfishness;

endless selfishness;

endless selfishness;

and it’s not what he did but how he did it.

it’s something controversial and seemingly far-removed from society today, but it’s not that at all. that’s all fine. it’s how he did it. so. so so.

selfish -
(and we got to look past that,
which are the three-years-learned tough lessons)
- future glory.

i look to that.

there is someone who is called the strongest person i’ll ever know. there are three of them, but there is one that i know well, and probably better than anyone. the most important thing that she’s taught me, eh, that anyone has taught me: and it’s through her actions:

romans 8:18 says:

“i consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” 

i’ve had to shout this in the dark. that is literal; “dark” is not metaphorical here, don’t look as much into it. i remember being in my dark room and just pounding these words into my brian. repetitionbrainrepetition.

“i consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

so, so so.

the transition from “so selfish” to “eight eighteen.” look how quickly it can be written. god. that’s because in writing, i can transcend years. years and fucking pain please excuse me. truly, it’s funny to me how closely i can jot or speak or sing those words. truly. that’s why this is a stupid post, that’s why i can’t say it. “so selfish eight eighteen.” soselfisheighteighteen.

in a journal entry written by the man (the man, the “about a man” man - about, about - a man), he spoke of his daughter. so fondly, and this is why i know he is a good man. he spoke so fondly. they danced in the rain, danced and felt the drops, and chased the drops and dodged the drops and were like dancers. and i knew them, and i knew how much he meant to her, and i knew it was hard. and reading about that was too much for me, when i was twelve years old, or seventeen, or what was i? maybe i turned seventy-five. but it’s hard to understand, if you don’t know, if you don’t know how people can be trapped in the wrong place, or in the wrong time period or, or, hell, in the wrong body, or the wrong pizza parlor. these are silly examples. but i know he’s a good man. he’s good now, too, and will be a good human always. i care about the four of them. it’s the selfish nature in my-own-self to be mad at h. this is why i repeat, eight eighteen. christ, i can’t be mad at h, and that’s what i say. put quotes. because truly the pain he brought to her which brought the pain to me, brought me to him with a capital h and god this is so confusing to you.

“i consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

~romans 8:18

8:18

8:18

…. …. ….

i think. i think it would be hard for me to write much about this subject or this song again, as much as it drained me. and what did i really say then? i’m not sure. now, it isn’t my mood that changed, drained, it’s my hands. the keyboard latched more grippingly to my fingers with each letter. this was a hard post to write.

…. …. ….

if you like the record, keep listening, please show your friends, please download it tomorrow, please reblog this but hot damn. please don’t make your friends read all of it!

http://deadwoodfloats.bandcamp.com/

…. …. ….

this song is absolutely forever for lauren,
who lives and teaches me so much.

i think i’ll be finished then, god bless.

inspired by personal experiences.

“i consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

~romans 8:18

i did not know of or believe in that at the time this song was written, although i do now, and it is largely because of those same experiences.